Jaw-busting burger!

This was a nice treat. We happened to be in Paddington one lunchtime which we don’t know very well.

I had just received a trial for Taste Card which gives either 2-for-1 deals or 50% off the food bill. It costs about £60 per year normally but they seem to be having a few offers and you can’t really go wrong with a free trial offer.

So, using my phone, I do a quick search on the Taste Card website for participating restaurants and discover that there’s a Grand Union bar nearby.

It’s just what we need – lots of space, table service,  friendly staff – and we have a whole booth to ourselves, from which we take in the neon extravaganza around us. I haven’t been to many Grand Union bars before but it must be a lot of fun on a busy night.

We confirm that they are offering 2-for-1 deals on the Taste Card and order a classic beef burger with Bacon & Avocado for me and a Chicken & Pesto for Mrs Y.

This is just the kind of place to kick back and have a long, indulgent, alcohol-fueled lunch, but I have to get back to work in a while so it’s a good strong espresso to perk me up a little (double shot with hot water on the side – that’s as close as you can get to a Kiwi-style Long Black over here) .

Eventually our food comes and we’re confronted by these towering jaw-breakers. Mrs Y always has trouble with food like this. Give her a kebab and its in pieces, food spilling out and juices dripping all over her shoes. It must be my many years of practice but I seem to have no problem – it’s all about the grip.

But how do you get hold of these monsters? And at what point to remove the stake?

Well, I wasn’t going to hold back for long, so I take it in my hands and kind of squeeze it down, open that big mouth of mine and…

..manage a good chunk and it doesn’t fall to pieces.  I’ve mastered it! I’ve got it held together in one hand with the other free to have a chunky chip or two and a slurp of water.

It’s going great until…

..we do our thing. You know – I try some of yours, you try some of mine. I hold the burger for Mrs Y to take a bite, but she’s grabbing at it and before I know it’s all collapsing and breaking apart. It’s knife and fork time. But, hey, her chicken burger tasted pretty good too.

A decent burger and I’d come back again, maybe for that boozy lunch next time.